#i dont even talk to my own family anymore for weeks at a time

[munch-mumbles]

o<-<

[paper-mario-wiki]

you do such a good job passing! any tips?

thank you, i appreciate that! i dont have a ton of tips since ive only been at it for a little over half a year, and im kinda flying by the seat of my pants cuz i dont have a lot of people i talk to day-to-day about presentation. pretty much everything ive figured out by myself and with youtube tutorials. regardless, heres a few i can think of:

don't be afraid to go to a makeup store and ask for advice. i brought a picture of myself i put through faceapp to give me makeup, and i showed it to the ladies at sephora, who were able to get me exactly what i was looking for. theres a world of difference between a face full of makeup, and a face full of makeup that's slightly the wrong shade, and it's good to get the opinions of experts.

try to look at the other women in your family and see how they style themselves, or do their makeup, or even how they speak or carry themselves. finding a look that works isn't somethin that you can fall into super easily, you have to go searching for it. try to model yours after the people who literally share your genes and therefore your features. (note, the opposite is equally usable for transmascs, look at your brothers, fathers, and uncles)

spend time in the mirror seeing what looks right. comb your hair in different directions, part it in a different place, put a clip in, dye it a different color, etc. put on makeup and then take it all off, then put on way too much and only take half of it off. learn the muscle memory of holding a liquid eyeliner pen in your non dominant hand and tracing it across the eyelid on the opposite side of your face without twitching your eye. nobody will see you, you're in your own bathroom. with the resources you have, treat the Bathroom Fit Check like you're customizing a character in a videogame.

look for your angles! i wish i could look good at every angle, but i don't, and vanishingly few people actually do. i spent a lot of time looking at myself in my front-facing phone camera from different directions and thinking "fuck im never going to pass, i really dont look great. is this even worth it?" and no matter how much doubt i had, in the long run the answer ended up being yes, it is worth it. that's kinda how hard things are: they suck until they don't anymore.

this one is really simple and may not apply to you, but fix your posture. seriously. when i started standing up straight for a few weeks i noticed an change in how i looked and carried myself (and my back doesnt hurt as much now)

come to terms with the fact that a lot of women look like men, and a lot of men look like women. the idea that all men look one way and all women look the other is an propagandstic invention of the state that should not be taken seriously. (note: this tip works only inwardly as a facet of self actualization. no matter what, you will always run into people who buy into the propaganda. to the best of your ability, pay them no mind.)

im sorry i cant give you anything more, but thats kind of a big question to answer, so i hope this helps!

[wosofics00]

Sister 3

russo!reader x leah williamson

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/wosofics00/760182724624564224/sister?source=share

No warnings

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Authors note: this is just something i wrote quickly to continue the story. Sorry for disappearing so long lol hope you enjoy, even though im not really happy with this...hopefully the next chapter will be better😂

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"Oh y/n...im so sorry about that" alessia answers softly, knowing that this is not the moment to scold her. Obviously you didn't tell alessia who your mysterious lover was but you basically told her everything else. You two have always been very close and she has always been the first person you would talk to about your problems. So she knew about the women you had a casual agreement with, and she knew how you started to slowly fall in love with that woman. Alessia was pretty honest with you and told you on several occasions that being casual with someone will never end good, but obviously you decided to not listen to her.

"You must think that im the stupidest person alive" you sniffle, knowing that you should have listened to your older sister. "Of course not y/n...i'm here for you dont you worry about that. Where are you right now?" She asks concerned. "Um just in front of the hotel..." you answer, still sniffling once in a while. "Get in a cab, i want you to be safe at home" less decides and talks with you all the way until you're at home, laying in bed. You told her about the reason she ended the relationship, if you could call it that, and how deeply in love you really were with the woman. It was only then, during the talk with alessia, that you realised how dependent you were on leah. And how lost you were going to be without her.

The following weeks were hard. Even with leah still in your life you have been unhappy in rome, hating your job more and more, missing your family and longing for something to change. Losing leah only made it worse. Alessia started to notice the way you were slowly losing yourself. You stopped going to the gym, were behind at work, your appartement was getting messier and basically everything was slowly starting to fall apart. About two months after things have ended between you and leah, alessia visited you in rome, hoping to be able to cheer you up. But when she realised how shitty your situation really was she decided to spesk up.

"Y/n you have to change something" less finally says, contemplating what to tell you for two whole days, finally having the guts to talk to you about whats been going on while you two were sitting on your couch eating pizza "hm?" You frown at her, not quite sensing what alessia means by that. "Im sorry to be the one to tell you that but you are a mess! I mean have you seen your appartement? You dont even follow any of your hobbies anymore...when was the last time you painted? Or went to the gym?" She asks seriously and your eyes goe wide when you realise what shes on about. "Less thats my life stay out of it" you grumble, always stubborn to admit something was going wrong. "No dont come at me like that, youre my sister which makes this my life too. Please listen to me when i tell you you need to change something" she stays strong but you grow more frustrated by that. "Yeah well thanks for telling me that but its not easy you know? Im sorry that i cant have the same perfect life you have" you get a bit louder, annoyed by less being right about what shes saying. "Dont you dare feel pity for yourself y/n. You make your own life choices, why dont you try to work on whats going wrong right now?" Less adds, trying to calm you down a bit at the end, sensing the tension radiating from you. You just look at her distressed for a few seconds before you sigh and apparently admit defeat.

Less has always had that effect on you to break your shell with just a few words. "I dont know how" you say quietly and less sighs while taking your hand into her own. "I just miss her..." you add, even more quietly. Less strokes your hand a bit before pulling you into a hug. You stay like that for a few seconds before she slowly pulls away. "Come back to england" alessia states after a few seconds which takes you a bit by surprise. "We miss you...and you can restart there, forget rome and the last few months here." She reasons and you fumble with your fingers, thinking about her words. After a few moments you sigh and lean against her a bit, not wanting to leave the comfort of alessias hug. "I just feel like if i would come home again that i...failed." you answer. "Y/n...you came here to complete uni and thats what you did with amazing results. You managed to get a good job in a completely foreign country, i always admired you for being so brave to move here. So dont tell me going to rome was a fail if you come back...it was a good time that just needs to end now to make place for new amazing things" she reasons and you listen carefully. Its not like the thought of going back has never crossed your mind, you were longing to move into your home country again for a long time now. So eventually you give alessia all she could ask for right now, a simple "i'll think about it".

----

The decision wasnt easy, and you changed your mind about a hundred times, but in the end the day came where you quit your job and prepared yourself for moving back to england. Alessia was head over heels when she heard you were coming to london as well, immediately rambling on about what you two would get up to in the city. There was just a little thing she was upset about. Not the fact your new job as a sports physio was in north london as well, but that it was at the worst club in london according to her, aka tottenham.

"Whyyyy do you have to go to them? I could get you a job at arsenal, we always need physios!" Less whines about it for the 100th time. By now you just roll your eyes and chuckle at her, not even giving into discuasing this again. You obviously couldnt tell her that the reason behind it was the fact that one of her teammates was the whole reason for your life crisis, so you just told less it wouldnt be professional. But eventually the day you've been dreading approached, the north london derby. Still you could have never in your wildest imagination predict how that day would go.

The first time you spotted leah your heart basically stopped, and you are sure it really did for a second when she spotted you as well. She approached you nervously and your heart was beating out of your chest.

"Ive heard you moved back here...unfortunately to the wrong club, but i hope you are doing good" leah smiles at you and then pulls you into a hug. After a few seconds she pulls away but leaves a hand on your waist which makes your skin tickle right away. "Um yeah hi" you press out, being unbelievably awkward. Leah then proceeds to lightly stroke up your waist and smirks lightly at the reaction. "So y/n, you wanna have a drink sometime soon?" She bites her lip and steps a bit closer. "What happened to looking for something serious?" You press out which makes leah a bit nervous as well. "Um yeah that didnt work...well come on, we always had a nice time" she squeezes your waist lightly and looks you in the eyes. "Yeah alright" you mumble, basically throwing all the progess you made these last few weeks over board. "Great, i'll text you" she winks and then walks off like nothing happened. What you both didnt realise was that alessia watched the whole scene unfold, easily connecting the dots that leah must have been the mysterious women that broke your heart. And its safe to say she has never been that furious about something before.

And that didnt stop when the teams stepped onto the field for the match. Less has always been extremly protective over you, which made her resent leah now. That escalated when leah lost the ball which led to a goal against arsenal. Usually a good teammate like alessia was the first to console someone who made a mistake, but not this time.

"Fucking hell leah get your shit together" she walks over to her and shoves leah. The other women is completely startled by that reaction, she has never seen less so angry. "Dont come at me like that alessia, you could have scored as well" she regains her composure and defends herself. "Just focus on playing and dont be so fucking selfish all the time, always putting yourself first what is wrong with you" less then completely snaps which urges kim and lia to physically pull her away from leah. "Alessia what is going on with you? Thats no way to talk to a teammate" kim tries to calm down less who just scoffs and walks away. But a few moments after jonas announces that less is going to be substituted for stina which makes her even more furious, firing a bottle of water somewhere before storming into the changing rooms. Half an hour later the match has ended, 2:1 for arsenal which leaves the whole team in a mood for partying. But that changes for leah when she enters the changing room and immediately is dragged out again to a secluded spot by alessia. "What the fuck is wrong with you less" she asks, trying to free herself from less grip who is much stronger than her. "You are an asshole, thats whats wrong" less answers angrily while pressuig leah against a wall. "Do you even know what you have done to my sister?" She adds which makes leah realise what all this behaviour is about. "Less.." she begins but is interrupted by alessia. "Dont fucking less me, i cant believe you leah. I knew you were a player but sinking that low to fuck over a nice girl like my sister...i never would have expected that from you" she spats and shoves leah against the wall who is still taken aback by less bahviour but then regains her composure. "Alessia dont talk to me like that!" Leah finally manages to defend herself "I have never promised your sister anything, it has always been casual. And shes her own human being so dont act like her fucking bodyguard" leah scoffs before freeing herself from less grip and making her way back to the arsenal changing room.

You didnt notice any of the fight between your sister and ex lover, only witnessing the discussion between them from the sideline. You thought it was just about football and didnt realise alessia found out about your affair with leah. But that changed a few hours later when you got a call from your sister, chilling at home and relaxing from the stressy day.

"Hey less" you smile into the phone, sipping on your tea. "Hey y/n" less sighs laying back on her couch. She had some time to reflect on what just happened the last few hours and realised she may have overreacted a bit. But she was far from forgiving or apologizing to leah. Still she wanted to have a serious talk with you about what has really happened with her teammate in the last few months.

"Why did jonas substitute you? Are you fine? Is your foot bothering you?" You ask concerned, wondering why jonas would pull out the best player on the field. But less just sighs and shakes her head. "No no im fine its just...i havent been the best teammate...to leah" she admits which surprises you a bit. "Just because she made a mistake?" You ask concerned, knowing less as one of the most sensitive people you have ever met. "No...well yeah at first i snapped at her about that but after...the reason was you y/n" she admits and bites her lip anxiously. You frown into the camera "me?" You ask and alessia nods "yeah you...i saw you two before the match and i know y/n. She was the girl that broke your heart right?" She asks and you realize what all this is ablut. "Ehm" you say before finally admitting what has really happened. "Well yeah you are right...sorry about not teling you less! I just felt so weird about it and wanted to tell you everything without you having any prejudice about the other person..." you explain your reasons to less who nods understandingly. "I get that...its just...youre my little sister y/n. I cant help feeling protective over you, and that just made me fucking angry towards leah" she explains and you even feel kind of moved by her words. You always knew the important role you had in alessias life but never would have thought to be such an important person in her life. "Thank you less...but you know its my life right? And its not completely leahs fault, i kind of acted stupid just by myself" you chuckle slightly, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "Hm if you say so..." less sighs, accepting that your opinion about leah is what counts after all.

"But are you going to meet her again?" She then asks the inevetable question. You sigh "i dont know...maybe. i miss her less" you admit and she nods understandingly. "Just be careful y/n, you have just regained control of your life, i dont want you falling back into that hole again..." she voices her concerns to which you just nod. "Ill try" you mumble, knowing that this is no easy task at all.

[loviingpedri]

Did You Know I Loved You?

prompt: pedri never forgot you

warnings: cursing, grammar issues. all pictures used are not owned by me. not proofread.

word count: 1735

angst, some fluff

dedicated to all my pedri girlies <3

pedri and you were inseparable. from the day you walked into his parents' restaurant, the air suddenly changed. the town seemed to sparkle in tenerife when you two were exploring the island.

"let's play football," pedri slowly kicked the ball to you.

"it's so hot outside though," you groaned at the thought of kicking a ball in the burning sun.

"pleaseee, i wanna practice just for a little bit." you knew you couldn't say no to him. the decision ended up leaving you playing with him until the moon smiled at the duo.

little did you know, the moon never smiled and the sun never glistened after that day.

———————————————————————

“so what? you’re just gonna leave?” you shouted at pedri in disbelief.

“i can do what i want. you can’t control my decisions for the rest of my life,” he sighed and sat down to control his thoughts. “you knew this was gonna happen. i need to grow my career. i wanted to be in a work environment which i enjoyed. just don’t be so self-centered right now.”

“im self-centered? i didn’t even get a warning you would leave to this big city. you knew for weeks. fer knew for weeks. you said i was your family pedro, and family doesn’t hide things from each other.” the yelling echoed through the house. it was a situation that would never be fixed.

“i cant just tell my best friend that i’m leaving in 2 weeks. it would ruin everything. if you knew, you would’ve changed my mind and i wouldn’t be successful for anything.”

“pedro gonzalez, think for one fucking second. you kept a secret that could’ve changed everything. the moments we had together could’ve been more important than anything. i just needed one warning and this wouldn’t be happening. i don’t give a shit that you want to continue your passion. all i always wanted was for us to be happy.” it took everything in your power to not leave the house after you completely lashed out on him.

you knew deep down you didn’t want him to go because he was your first love. he was your first kiss, first friend, and first person to even talk to you in tenerife. you didn’t know who he was gonna see. you sure did not want him to talk to rich girls blinged out with their designer bags. you were scared shitless of how life would be without him. he was the only person who knew everything about you and what you should do in anxious situations.

then, the tears came. would he visit you? would he ever speak to you? would he write or text you? would you ever see him again? will there be time for the two of you to be together again.

“why are you crying? come on, its not that big of a deal.” he huffed loudly, shaking his head in stress that this was not the way this was suppose to happen.

“pedri, you are leaving to the city. i dont even know if i’ll ever get into contact with you anymore. you’ll have new friends, new people to worry about, and probably gonna knock someone up while you’re at it. can’t you just let me process this for one second.” and that’s when you made a mistake. doubting pedri was never a good idea. especially about the people he loved. especially when it came from the person who he loves the most.

pedri got up and looked at you for one last time. unexpectedly, he walked out the door without a word. you sat there in tears, debating to chase him or just let him go. the sobs fully came out.

———————————————————————

2 years had passed since he left. everyday, he thought about you. “what would y/n do? what would y/n say?” he questioned his decisions by following your mindset everyday. he begged his brother to tell how you were doing. never a word budged from fer since the huge fallout spread throughout the city.

tenerife was never the same. since both lost communication, it felt like the island itself was hopeless.

you, continued to push yourself through school. showing everyone that you would do well without him was your motivation. you’ve worked so hard to prove yourself to people that you had a job offer in barcelona.

of course, you accepted the job. people were upset that their beautiful youngin was finally moving on in life. moving into your modern apartment was like a fever dream. you’ve had your doubts, but it was definitely worth it. everyday, there would be news of pedri. pedri, barcelona’s best midfielder. pedri, one of the best young players in the world. pedri, the guy who gets every spanish girl all over him. hell, a video of him was going viral for taking a girl’s number and putting it into his pocket. obviously, it was implied that he would never have a single thought about you. fuck, it was stupid to even try to reach out for him.

after sitting in your living room while trying to find something to entertain yourself that wasn’t pedri related, you decided to go out for once. there seemed so much to do in the city instead of being lazy at home. walking for ages in the wind, you finally found a small cafe to rest. ordering your latte and sitting down, your thoughts were interrupted by a boy.

“excuse me, are you y/n?” said a boy that was not too much younger than you.

“yes i am,” you nodded your head slowly before taking a slow sip. it was a little awkward considering he looked at you in shock.

“i’m sorry. i’m pablo gavi. or known as gavi. you’re the person on pedri’s lock screen. he always talks about you during practice. holy shit, i never thought i would meet you. are you visiting him?”

what the fuck just happened. pedri still remembers me? why am i his lock screen? why does he talk about me? what does he say? for a moment, you sat there trying to understand what he said. gavi, confused on why you’re frozen in time, waved his hand in front of your face to make sure you’re okay.

“oh no, i’m not visiting. pedri and i don’t really talk anymore,” you shook your head and forced a little smile. only to ease the tension of gavi’s then saddened look.

“that’s weird. he talks about you like you’re his girlfriend or something. i thought you were doing long distance,” he shrugged his shoulders. “maybe you should visit camp nou. i think he’ll be happy to see you.”

quickly, you rejected his offer. “oh no, we exactly didn’t end off our friendship in the best terms. i think it’s better if we just don’t see each other again.”

“i insist. i’ll give you my number and i’ll text you all the details.” he took his arm giving you his phone. you bowed your head in defeat and put your phone number in.

unfortunately, everyone’s eyes had been on you and gavi.

———————————————————————

the next morning, your phone was blown up in notifications. your best friend constantly texting you on how you’re viral on twitter. paparazzi snapped pictures of your interaction with gavi.

“fuck.” you mumbled before groaning in defeat. you knew you had faced defeat in keeping a low-profile.

gavi, you knew, was for sure fucked. if pedri had seen the pictures, he was definitely getting beat up.

during practice, gavi kept his best to avoid his best friend. when pedri came up to him, he quickly turned pale.

“what’s wrong with you? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” pedri patted him on his back with a small laugh. gavi sighed in relief. he’s glad to have all his teeth and no black eye before the game.

“yeah, i’m fine.” and that’s when everything wasn’t. balde came up to him, rubbing his head and patting him.

“so, who’s the new girl? it’s all over the internet and not a word from you.” fuck you balde was the first thought that came to gavi’s head. gavi’s head was pounding. he didnt know what to say, how to react, or what to do.

“wow gavi. what other secrets are you keeping from us. let me see the picture balde.” pedri laughed even harder from the thought of gavi even approaching a girl. at that moment, gavi had to remind himself that he wasn’t 9 anymore. he couldn’t just simply run and cry his way out of this. luckily, balde only showed pedri the picture from the window. when you were facing towards him and could only see him offering his phone. gavi’s blood started to circulate again and his heart rate slowed.

“i cant really see her face, but she looks so familiar to me.” well no shit jackass. that was the girl you’ve been in love with since second grade. in fact, she’s sitting on the side waiting for you.

———————————————————————

your heart was about to jump out in any second. you sat there for two hours for them to be finished with training. each time pedri walked towards your direction, your nerves would start running around. luckily, he didnt see you a single time.

gavi texted you from the locker room that he was coming towards your direction. you never expected this to be happening. you were debating to run away, but your feet forced you to stay. you knew your mind was fighting to hate him, yet your heart convinced you to see him. even if it was the last time. finally, you heard footsteps coming.

pedri was wiping the sweat off his face. he came to a full stop. he thought he was hallucinating. he thought it was a dream. he stared at you for which felt like minutes. admiring your facial features, you sat there frozen. it was harder to read his facial expressions now. did he want you to leave? did he want you there? why isn’t he saying anything?

what felt like years, he started walking towards you. again, your nerves were still jumping. eventually, he made his way in front of you. suddenly, he smiled.

“holy shit you’re beautiful.” the state of confusion turned into love with one simple kiss. your lips connecting made the world happier. the air cleared. the atmosphere was different.

it felt peaceful.

———————————————————————

author’s note: hi everyone! i’m so glad you enjoyed my first story let’s be tourists. this is my second time i’m writing on tumblr, so im still getting use to it. i will be taking requests once i figure out how to set it up. please let me know if you have any suggestions on what i could improve on. thank you for all of the support !!! <3

[thelittletobsterthatcould]

Chimney Rock is flooded. The town, the entire town of Chimney Rock if GONE. Asheville is cut off from the world, all the bridges that lead into the city are flooded. My mother’s house + her mother are some of the only standing houses in their neighborhood. The rest have been crushed by fallen trees and power lines. They have no power, electricity and little contact with the people near them and are housing 10+ people each. Plus pets.

The only aid my mother, brother (who still lives with my mother) and grandmother—who already live in a rural area is from a local dairy farm and one guy who own a helicopter. Trees and power lines are blocking the only road in and out. They have to walk over 13 miles on foot to get basic supplies and support. All these people have no way to contact their family members who are stuck in their own homes. My family lives in lower income area, lots of trees and nature, and my brother is the youngest person there at 20, my mother is in her 40s and the second youngest.

I’ve seen no news coverage about this, and I know there’s more people and families both alive and dead who are trapped and suffering and are getting zero news coverage about it—even on a local level. I’m sure there’s more, and it’s worse, much worse than I can ever convey but I’m just trying to spread the word. I’m lucky to live with my dad in an area that already has, electricity, power, access to food etc., we have no way to get to my family (all the roads are blocked and the roads that are flooded).

And I (personally) think it stems from the idea that people have of the south. “Oh well why didn’t they just leave??” APPALACHIA IS ONE OF THE MOST POVERISHED REGIONS IN AMERICA THEOR ECONOMY IS COAL AND TOURISM. THESE ARE REGULAR EVERYDAY HARDWORKING PEOPLE.

“They still could have left!!” THERE ARE FUCKING MOUNTAINS!!! MY FAMILY LIVES IN THE UPSTATE AND THEY ARE ALMOST COMPLETELY CUT OFF FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD!! I HAVE SPENT TWO DAYS WORRYING FOR MY FAMILY WONDERING IF THEY WERE ALIVE!!!WONDERING IF MY PHYSICALLY DISABLED GRANDFATHER WHO LIVES EVEN FURTHER IN THE COUTRY THAN THEN IS ALIVE!!

PEOPLE ARE STUCK!! PEOPLE ARE TRAPPED WITH NO ACCESS TO A HOSPITAL!!! TENNESSEE WAS HIT, THEY AREN’T NEAR THE FUCKING COAST!!! WHY WOULD THEY EXPECT TO GET HIT??? ENTIRE TOWNS DONT EXSIST ANYMORE!!!

AND NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT IT OTHER THAN OTHER SOUTHERNERS!! BUT IF THIS HURRICANE HIT THE NORTH PEOPLE WOULD TALK ABOUT FOR WEEKS, BE DEVASTATED AND OFFER AND AID THEY CAN!! BUT BECAUSE ITS HITTING THE SOUTH NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT IT OTHER THAN US!!!

I learned a long time ago about the concept of mountain strong. And I really truly believe it not, our government has failed us and we only have each other to help each other out. For the days leading up to this, we heard about the impact and to be ready if we some wind and rain. I can’t get a reliable source of contact with my mother, brother, grandmother and maternal grandfather. The only reason I know their alive is because someone at the dairy farm had my dads email address and sent him an email.

Have you ever lived in fear of your family—a reasonable size for my family too—being dead? Have you ever stayed up for two night and eaten a can of beans for dinner over a camping stove only to throw it back up because your so afraid of your family being dead? Have you ever cried so hard you threw up and passed out because you were scared your last conversation with any of them ended in a fight?? And have you ever had to see the exact storm that they built up for weeks get no news coverage??? Can you imagine the fear??? The anger??

So yeah, I’m pissed as hell. And I don’t know if this will get any traction, or if anyone will read all this, but I need to spread the word any way I can.

[bridgyrose]

Weiss is upset her mom got turned into a werewolf

But not as upset as she is that Ruby dumped her for her mother

(For obvious reasons, I'm not going to be doing Ruby x Willow as a ship. Though, I still think I stayed true to the prompt for the most part)

“Ruby, this is ridiculous,” Weiss said as she pinched the bridge of her nose. It was bad enough that she was talked into coming back to Atlas to visit family, but even this was a bit much. “I know things arent exactly going as we had planned, but please think this over.” 

“And I have thought it over,” Ruby answered. “I’ve thought about this over the week we’ve been here. I dont have those feelings for you like I used to.” 

“We can work all of this out.” 

Ruby closed her suitcase and sighed. “And we tried. We’ve tried for years to make this work and we’ve grown apart. I need someone who can be there by my side on missions. And your mom… she… she understands what I want.” 

Weiss took a deep breath and wiped away a couple stray tears from eyes. “Fine, if you want to go after her, then by all means do so. But she’s just going to use you. Just like she does everyone else.” 

“I’m sorry Weiss.” 

Weiss waved her off and flinched when she heard the door close. Ever since Jacques died and her mother started to come into her own, life had become… complicated. Sure, Willow wasnt as bad as bad as Jacques, but she still used others in her own way. Sleeping around for money and power, taking risks she normally wouldnt… she could understand finding freedom but this was a bit much. 

All because she was turned into a werewolf. 

Weiss gripped the sheets on her bed, fingers shaking. Her family legacy as hunters keeping humanity safe from monsters worse than grimm, thrown away without a second thought. It almost seemed like it was just a game to Willow. To see how far she could drag the Schnee name until they lost everything. 

She finally picked herself up and off her bed, stormed out of her bedroom and made her way down the manor halls to find her mother. Her hand went to the hilt of the rapier that sat on her hip as she power walked through the halls, focused on her task. She would do whatever it took to win Ruby back, even if she had to kill her own mother to do it. 

Once Weiss made it to the master bedroom, she threw open the door and pulled her rapier off her hip. “Mother, we need to talk.” 

Willow smiled with a toothy grin, sharpened canines on display as she stood up. White-silver fur lined the wolf ears on top of her head and the tail she sported. “Of course, dear, anything you want.” 

“We… we need to fix our family reputation,” Weiss struggled to say as she watched her mother. It was easy to say that Willow was more monster than person anymore, whoever, there was a part of her that couldnt seem to move forward with her plan. “We need to start defending those who cant defend themselves from monsters-” 

“And which… monsters… do you refer to, Weiss?” Willow cut Weiss off with a growl. Her smile faded as she made her way behind her daughter, running claw-like nails down her arms. “Grimm? Atlas hasnt had to worry about them in years and there’s enough huntresses around to keep people safe.” She paused and lowered her voice to a harsh whisper. “Or are you talking about people like me?” 

Weiss took a deep breath to calm herself and turned around to face her mother, hands shaking as she held her rapier to her mother’s chest. “You know exactly what I mean.” 

“But tell me, my dear daughter, do you really believe in that reputation? In the name that Jacques created? Dont you want to live your own legacy? To be free?” 

Weiss froze and dropped her rapier as she watched her mother shift into a wolf right before her eyes. Of course she had forgotten the full moon was tonight. And yet, no matter how many times she’d faced werewolves and vampires, she couldnt find it in herself to kill her mother. Instead, all she could do was stare at the beast in front of her until she felt her mother’s teeth sink down into her arm. 

The next thing Weiss remembered was waking up in the streets of Mantle, clothes torn as she shakily picked herself up. Her legs felt like jello as she took each wobbling step, leaning against the buildings to keep her balance. Her stomach growled and her mouth started to water as she smelled meat cooking from a nearby diner. 

She froze as she stopped by a mirror and finally caught her reflection. A fresh, scarred bite mark from a wolf stood against her skin, the telltale sign that she had become one of the monsters that she had hunted. She traced the scar with her fingers, wincing with how tender it still felt. A solemn sigh left her lips as she continued onward for breakfast… and to make a new plan to get Ruby back. 

[shiesan]

Shu Yamino HCs + more

I think it’s gender neutral? hehehehehehe i dont proof read pardun my ass.

Classmate edition!

- Class presiden’t. He has the vibes of a class president but isn’t the actual president. I fee like Shu would decline even if the whole class wanted him as president.

-Teachers’ fave. I can imagine Shu just minding his own business, reading away, and then suddenly the teacher calls him to answer the question a classmate failed to answer. He’s not arrogant about it though, sometimes he even gets them wrong but he apologizes immediately and states that he has much to learn. The exact reason why the profs love him lots.

-Shu is one of the best seatmates! Don’t have your book? Scoot a little closer and he’ll share with you. Need some trouble with a math problem? He’s there to help. Need a cough drop, pen, paper, paracetamol, and a whole house? he has it in his bag. Everyone at the start of the school year prays that they’ll be seated next to Shu. Did I mention he smells great?

-Lunches with him. He usually packs his lunch and eats with you. On most days you guys sit somewhere a bit more breezy and quite since you guys like to have silent time and a break from your rowdy classmates. 

“Y/N, why don’t we eat near that tree today! Its not too hot outside today so I think it’ll be pleasant.”

Sure enough it was. You guys always enjoy your lunch break with each other, sometimes even bringing the other person a little dessert or snack. So cute!

- Going Home. Shu is really the sweetest. When you guys are going home he ALWAYS follows the sidewalk rule! He tries not to be to obvious about it and hopes you don’t point out anything (babu is shy). Although he can’t go home with you all the time he makes sure you’re home safe, you are a good friend of his after all . He knows some of his friends take the same route as you so he asks them if they don’t mind looking after you as well (ofc without you knowing hehe). Tells you to immediately text him when you get home and reminds you to rest first before taking a bath.

-Summer Break. Messages you and asks if you want to hang out. Honestly he just misses you since he hasn’t seen you in two weeks.

Y/n, are you busy today?

Not really. Why?

Was wondering if you wanted to hang-out? I don’t really have anything in mind though hahaha.

You picked the arcade. It’s so much fun!! You remember that after every exam you guys would go to the arcade to celebrate and memories of Shu’s radiant smile immediately warms your heart. What is this. You’ve had a crush on Shu since forever! Ignoring it was so easy back then but not anymore. Especially when everyone around you thinks that there’s something between you guys. Honestly, you wish there was. You always thought “Oh, Shu’s future partner will be so lucky,” silently hoping that it was you. 

Discarding your romantic feelings toward the man was hard, you kept asking the universe to stop giving their least experienced player the hardest quests but alas! Here you are. Infront of the arcade you and Shu frequent. Silently hoping he doesn’t show up so your heart doesn’t go crazy and you live another day. But it’s Shu we’re talking about, the oh-so lovable Shu. 

The Shu that takes your breath away.

The Shu that always makes sure that you’re okay.

The Shu that will always help you with your homework.

The Shu that will always reach out to you first when it comes to group projects.

The Shu whose whole family loves you so much so that sometimes they tell Shu to bring another bento for you.

The Shu you spend all night playing online games with.

The Shu you want to be yours.

Maybe he’ll be your Shu one day.

Your thoughts get interrupted by the sorcerer himself, Shu Yamino.

“Y/N! I bought you a _____ shake on the way here. It’s a bit melted because of the heat, hope you don’t mind.” You shake your head, smile, and take the shake he was offering you. You hugged him as a sign of gratitude and just because you missed him, even if he drove you crazy.

Shu froze for a bit. It was quite strange, the feeling that Shu felt. It was like any normal hug though, you guys hugged plenty of times! Why now does he feel like he doesn’t want to let you go.

The hug that felt like minutes came to an end as you pulled away from him and dragged him into the arcade. With a bag of tokens in each of your hands you guys spend hours and hours inside the arcade. Hours spent having so much fun with the person you love, hours creating memories to cherish forever.

You wanted to switch thing up. Although anywhere with him feels like the best place on earth, you wanted to create a new core memory with him. 

“Shu, wanna go watch the sunset?”

Boing boing boing. A basketball falls to the floor, a ball that Shu was supposed to shoot but due to shock he just froze. Realizing what the did, he picks up the ball and returns in to the machine, dusting off his hands afterwards.

“Sure!” He smiles. That sounds sweet, said his inner thoughts. Shu returned the favor, this time he was the one who took you by the hand and dragged you outside to watch the sunset. 

The mall you guys frequent is actually close to the sea. The back of the mall overlooks the vast ocean and the sun happened to be setting in that direction. Hurried steps came from the both of you as you rush outside to make sure that you would see the sunset. It confused you though. The fact that Shu, instead of letting your hand go once you got out of the arcade had intertwined them instead. You weren’t complaining. Not at all. But this gave you the idea that maybe the feelings you thought were once one sided weren’t as one sided as you thought. 

“Ey, we’re here!” Shu says as you guys get close to a railing which gave you the perfect view of the sunset.

“Yeah,” you slowly say as you catch your breath. “We made it just in time.”

The sun slowly began to leave your sight, it looked like it was lowering itself into the ocean, leaving shades of red and orange behind. 

How pretty. Both of you thought. Your eyes remain on the setting sun and Shu’s sight remains on you.

He readjusts his grip on your hand, reminding you that he was still holding it. 

You took your eyes off of the sunset and looked him in the eyes. He looked so happy. So at peace with himself.

“Shu, your hand.” he maintains eye contact with you and just says “hmm?” 

“Your hand.” You say again, this time lifting your intertwined hands. 

He just smiles and holds your hand tighter. Suddenly it felt warmer. And suddenly you found yourself in Shu’s embrace.

______________________________________________

OKAY I LIED IT WASNT ONLY HCS

Anyways, hope you guys enjoy my ass writing. Till next time

-shie-san

[senanatheskenana]

Genshin Guys’ Voice Line About Your Death

Kaeya

“What... No- that can’t be right... There must have been a mistake- i’ll go and ask jean myself, im sure she’ll put our worries at ease. No, im not in denial, i-i just think you’re wrong! You have to be.“

Diluc

“I’m still not completely at peace with their... absence. The winery is far too big now and i find it hard to sleep at night without them. But i try my best to keep going for them. It feels marginally better now that i’ve avenged them.“

Venti

“I almost took their form but once i looked at my reflection i found it too painful. I don’t want to be constantly reminded that everything i love leaves... i dont want to move on, i want them back... “

Albedo

“It’s already been a week. Most people would experience a decrease in grief by now. And yet i feel just as horrible as i did when i was first told... I see their face in every drawing, and hear their voice in every storm- it’s torture. “

Xiao

“I don’t wanna talk about it. It feels like if i do i’ll explode. You can join me, but please don't ask me about it while we walk. I don’t want to think about what i’ve lost...“

Tartaglia

“You know, i never thought i’d ever find someone as perfect as them... I fell in love, I brought them to my family... And now, i have to tell them that (Y/N) is never coming back again.“

Zhongli

“I came to terms with the deaths of my friends. I learned to accept the things that cannot be prevented... And yet it still hits me like a landslide and i feel myself being buried alive by my grief. I’m still not sure if i want to pull myself out.“

Kaedehara Kazuha

“Many people believe that once you die your spirit will take the form of a bird. I always promised that when i died, my soul would follow (Y/N) wherever they went in the world. I can only hope their soul will find me soon... Oh, would you look at that, it’s a dove, what is it doing all the way out here, i wonder.“

Thoma

“You know sometimes i still make two plates at breakfast. And i still sleep on the right side of the bed because the other side is theirs. Half of the closet is theirs, half of the garden is theirs- half of me is still theirs, even now...“

Arrataki Itto

“Woah, woah, woah! That’s a pretty heavy joke... Hehe... You- You are joking. Right? Please tell me you’re joking...“

Gorou

“Watatsumi Island buried a brave soldier today. The resistance lost a fighter, we all lost a friend... And i- i lost the only thing i had. You guys head off, i’ll stay here a little longer.... I need to collect myself.“

Kamisato Ayato

“Have you ever tried to keep water in your cupped hands? No matter how hard you try, it will leak, and eventually there will be nothing left. That is how i feel. No matter the effort i spend to keep face, i feel myself showing through the cracks.“

Tighnari

“My kind mate for life. When we find the one, we stay together for as long as time permits, and we love completely and as passionately as we can. Unfortunately i do not believe that any amount of time would have been long enough for me to have accepted their death.“

Cyno

“It’s quiet now. No one laughs at my jokes- there's no jokes for me to laugh at. I’m not even sure if i can think normally anymore. I’m thinking of resigning once again. I need to think about things.“

Scaramouche

“All you humans are weak... But, not- not (Y/N). For the first time i think i understand that love and kindness don't make you weak, but using that to your own advantage does. So i’ll hunt out every one of those bastards and make them beg for death. Then we’ll see who’s weak.“

[away-ward]

im sorry for this rant KO, but why on earth is the bonus content for nightfall is the start of the horsemen? Like omfg. I really dont need it to exist because i like the mystery of them. Why can't we just have a willemmy bonus 😭 i'm so fucking upset. I initially wanted to pre-order the paperback but thinking about that whole alex drama in BC, i didn't, thank the lord for that! But i was still hoping for a willemmy bonus or maybe a will or emmy's back story, but we're getting to see Damon, A-FUCKING-GAIN? How many fucking bonus do we have to see him??! Fuck, i'm so upset, idk who to rant this with because i don't talk about this series to anybody irl.

Excerpt from PD's insta:

DAMON GRABS HIS JACKET OFF THE COURT AND PULLS IT ON AS HE LEAVES.

"YOU OKAY?" MICHAEL ASKS KAI.

BUT KAI JUST GESTURES TO DAMON WHO PUSHES THROUGH THE HEAVY DOUBLE DOORS. "I TOLD YOU, MAN," HE BLURTS OUT TO MICHAEL. "HE'S TROUBLE."

"NO," MICHAEL QUICKLY RETORTS, LOOKING IN THE DIRECTION DAMON LEFT. "HE'S AN ENFORCER, KAI."

HIS FRIEND STARES AT HIM.

"AND EVERY TEAM NEEDS ONE," MICHAEL ADDS, DROPPING THE BASKETBALL INTO KAI'S HANDS. "TELL THE COACH I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."

end-

🥲 ngl, i'm so sick of damon's appearance, at this point not only his character wasn't my fav, pd over-pushing him makes me really hate him now. "He's the enforcer" ughhhh, and when did this branding ever came up in the devil's night series? I only remember this point being discussed here on your blog of your meta about damon's character and his implicit role in their friend group and family. Istg i really never saw his role being discussed and branded like this anywhere, so the only place it could happen was in the private chat's of their pendragon fb group or between PD and their editor/most trusted beta readers. Istg the pettier side of me feels like some of PD's fb group fans saw your discussion posts here with other anons and told on PD, then they got inspired by you ideas about "his role" in the family. Which in theory, i don't see much wrong from it, but truly, where did this role establishment and branding came from? And ofc in PD's fashion, they had to rebrand Damon's role to be positive and borderline inspiring 🙄

and fuck, who cares about logic right? Definitely not PD when they kept on writing A and meaning B in their stories, but kept on being pissed off when readers understood it as A. 🤡

at this point, i'm not even excited anymore for this bonus content. I genuinely thought something good will come out of it, but with their opinion of willemmy a few weeks ago, and now with this. Idk. But I just know and fully sure now that PD just wanted to avoid the alex-aydin-will-emmy qna discussion extra materials, because they knew they fucked that one up, and many readers hated it, and so they probably want to just bury that shit and move past it. So of course, we'll never gonna get a willemmy bonus content. Ugh. I can't fault them for wanting to move on, but for someone who wnats to move on so bad and ignore the uncomfy parts of their own mistake in writing, they sure as hell is still be talking and hinting at this series from time to time especially for their most fav characters 🙄

but fr KO, it really left a sour taste in my mouth when an author behaves like this. Penelope Douglas is just so, ugh, idk. At this point ideky i'm still hoping for them to be better tbh when they've always been known to be problematic, like they're always just so disappointing. I need to detach my feelings for books i like to read with their authors, because i'm just gonna end up upset like this. But it's so hard!!! Especially when they're indies and you like some parts of the things they put out, and can't always find it anywhere else. Ughhh. i heard that series by Monty Jay was giving DN, so i might check it out, and i really hope it's better.

+ when you get a reach of the bonus materials, will you be sharing them here and share your thoughts and opinions about them? I'm a big yapper and i just wanna yap with somebody about it frfr.

Hey. Oh man, I feel your pain.

I really dont need it to exist because i like the mystery of them. Why can't we just have a willemmy bonus

Ohh, I wish I was with you on this but I’m actually excited about it. As someone who wants to understand these characters better, and who absolutely goes bonkers over character origin stories, this is right up my alley. I never expected any kind of Willemmy scene, so maybe I’m not as disappointed as I would be otherwise.

From what I heard, there are some willemmy scenes in this origin story though! So not all hope is lost (although I don’t know how it’s supposed to make sense, since I’ve also heard that this starts during their freshmen year and Emmy’s a year younger so… but whatever. I’m just happy for the moments!)

I am so sorry that this isn’t what you wanted!

Istg the pettier side of me feels like some of PD's fb group fans saw your discussion posts here with other anons and told on PD, then they got inspired by you ideas about "his role" in the family. Which in theory, i don't see much wrong from it, but truly, where did this role establishment and branding came from?

As much as this idea tickles me, the fact is that this was probably written months ago, and I only really had that discussion with in the past few weeks. More than likely, we were just picking up on something PD was implying the entire time.

But I just know and fully sure now that PD just wanted to avoid the alex-aydin-will-emmy qna discussion extra materials, because they knew they fucked that one up, and many readers hated it, and so they probably want to just bury that shit and move past it.

I’m still holding out of that pinterest board and discussion questions (though, it may be a lost cause). It just seems so stupid that they’d withhold those two things since they’re so minor compared to the bonus scene.

they sure as hell is still be talking and hinting at this series from time to time especially for their most fav characters

Coming from a writer’s perspective, it’s hard to let your favs go. Long after the other characters stop “speaking” to you, your favs come back. You still see them doing stuff. And PD is proud of the series, so of course they’re not going to bury it.

But yes, I agree that the fandom has been pretty loud about wanting some more willemmy content for some closure, and it shouldn’t be this hard to sit and think about the characters and deliver something, just to be kind to your readers and fans. I can’t say why PD is so resistant to it, but that’s for them to know.

i heard that series by Monty Jay was giving DN, so i might check it out, and i really hope it's better.

I had to look it up, and I’m assuming you’re speaking about the hollow boys? I haven’t read it, but if you do get around to it, I hope you enjoy it.

Regarding PD, I hardly ever look into the background of an author or give them a second thought. I also have never had the desire to contact an author, or do meet and greets or anything, that’s just me. So, I’ve never had the issue of needing to detach a work from an author, but I can see the struggle.

+ when you get a reach of the bonus materials, will you be sharing them here and share your thoughts and opinions about them? I'm a big yapper and i just wanna yap with somebody about it frfr.

I absolutely will share my thoughts, of course! I might do a reading react, or just a summary of my thoughts, whatever feels right. Again, I feel for your frustration and disappointment. The let down is never easy, but you'll read better books in the future. This isn't the last of it for you. So look forward to finding your next favorite read.

-KO

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ please hold my hand (chapter 11)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 6k

chapter warnings- swearing, fighting, so much fucking angst omg, anxiety, panic attack, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of body issues, mentions of abortion.

author note- Hey guys, apologies on the delayed posting, life has yet to calm down for me and im writing in my free time to try and distract me, (free time which is very limited) I wrapped up my semester and now im getting a job, recently someone close to me passed and on top of that im dealing with family fights and shit, so ive been trying to not rip my hair out. I love all of you guys so much and appreciate you for reading my stories, i know im a smaller author on here just writing silly bts fics and stuff but I find comfort in having a small community on here that I can run to when I need to just get away from everyone irl. Sorry for the blabbling but yes- bottom line is I just appreciate you all so much <3 feel free to ever message me anytime if you need someone to talk to, im here always.

enjoy the chapter!

Taehyung knew you were off

something wasnt right and he knew it, but he also knew to give you time to come to him on your own.

The next morning he sat with you in the bathroom, it was pretty early and birds could be heard outside chirping as the sun rose.

"so....whats going on?" he asked

You woke up first, trying (Failing) to come up with some way to explain that you are pregnant, he heard you pacing the room and stress organizing random shit, so he awoke too.

"nothing"

He frowned, "but last night you told me you wanted to talk" he gently reached out and pulled you closer to him, your eyes glued to the floor.

"oh that..i um...."

its now or never.

Do it.

tell him.

Tell him you are pregnant, we're gonna have a ba-

"i was wondering when I could have my phone back" you blurbed out

His eyes sank to yours, "Y/N...." he sighed, "when we get back to Busan"

"but i just want to check stuff...really quickly" you looked at him, eyes wide

"i dont think thats a good idea"

"why not?"

"because of everything that is going on...you dont need to get hurt by Kaito and his stupid ass friends anymore than you already have"

"but-"

"no" he shushed, "those rumors are only rumors and will die down soon, fuck that school....just enjoy the rest of the week with me" he softly whispered, pressing the lightest kiss to your lips as you frowned.

sure, it was an excuse to cover up the actual problem at hand, but you really did want your phone back, your mind had been so caught up with baby kim that you completely forgot about the shit storm you had to walk into the moment your flight landed back in Busan.

You refused to look at him as he rubbed your back, "cmon, lets shower"

you both ended up underneath the warm water, cuddling up as your face leaned into his chest, silently.

His hands softly roamed to hold your hips, squishing your skin slightly.

"hey!"

He softly giggled, "m'sorry baby"

"no" you scoffed and tried to move his hands off your waist. "I know I gained weight dont make me feel like shit"

He immediately frowned, "honey i wasnt trying to make you upset, you look beautiful, I think you actually look even prettier, you were losing so much weight this past year with stress and school....you look healthier"

"healthy is code for fat, no?"

Taehyung shook his head, "no baby, i mean it, you are so beautiful"

you turned around to face the shower head as he ran his fingers through your wet hair.

"why are you so moody?" he whispered softly, kissing your shoulder

"im not!"

He hummed, "kinda..."

"just stop" you sighed, wringing your hair out and pushing the curtain aside to get out, drying and wrapping your body with a towel as Taehyung watched, concerned.

You wanted to tell him so bad, but every time the possibility of even mentioning the situation tried to come up, you froze.

You still couldn't fathom it yourself....you were so young...and about to have a kid that you didnt plan for.

You hated it. You hated every ounce of it, because now you were growing attached to the small little thing, it didnt even have a formed body yet and it was already starting to make you feel protective and soft.

You found yourself resting your hand on your abdomen every now and then, not even realizing it. You also saw yourself whispering to it as you ranted when you were alone.

You didnt hate the baby, its not like they asked to be there, it was yours and taehyungs fault, and it was a symbol of the love between you both.

What you hated however- was the fact you knew you didnt have what it takes to be a mother, and the baby would end up resenting you and never speaking to you after 18 years.

You were guilty and sad and struggling, and all you wanted to do was be held and loved and told that it was gonna realistically be okay.

And you knew the only way you could get that is if you told someone.

The rest of the week went by okay,

Your mother had taken tae and you up to her friends farm where you both had worked and helped him plant flowers, you also discovered that this "friend" of hers was anything but.

"hey they look kinda cute" taehyung giggled, filling the soil with his potted flowers

you crossed your arms, "no they dont, shes literally seeing someone and didnt even tell me!! her daughter!!! can you imagine??"

Taehyung smiled, "well...its not like you and i arent keeping anything from her right" he smirked

"if we told her we were 'dating' I doubt she would be shocked, this is different"

"how so?"

"Shes just...." you sighed and watched the front porch of his farm, where your mom and him sat on the swing "thats not my dad"

"dont you want her to be happy, y/n?"

"this isnt about that....what if he breaks her heart like dad did? what if he just fucking leaves when things get difficult?"

Taehyung looked at you softly, knowing this was more than you being upset at your mom finding a romantic interest and not telling you.

"its okay" he whispered, pulling your attention back to the flowers.

Your mind was racing, and suddenly you got hit with a thought that knocked the wind out of you.

What if taehyung left?

the men in your life dont have a good track record here, and what if him being happy over the baby isnt true, what if he is mad and leaves....its so easy for him to just leave.

As the trip ended, you began to distance yourself slightly, as if you were already trying to prepare for when he does go.

The morning of your flight, the thought of getting on another plane ride nauseated you

"we gotta get you anti-motion sickness pills" taehyung smiled, handing you your coffee order from the airport starbucks. "you arent even on the plane yet and you seem pale."

Coffee, not good for the baby. You read that on a forum last night.

You nod, looking off into the distance as he tries to hold your hand to walk to the end of the terminal, you slowly step away

"you ok?" he whispers, looking at you

"y-yeah...just clammy...dont wanna hold hands"

He nodded in understanding.

You wanted to hold him, climb on his back as he walked even, but you needed to distance yourself, in case it ended up being just you and baby.....just as was with your mom and you.

As you found your way to your seats, you tried to just sleep away all your thoughts, but it proved more difficult than you hoped.

Taehyung slept peacefully as you bounced your knee and picked at your nails. The poor woman sitting in front of both of you struggled to keep her own children in their seats while she fed her newborn, who was beginning to wail.

Damn....you were overwhelmed just watching

Taehyung woke up and darted his eyes to the kids in front of him, one boy peeking around to both of you and sticking out his tongue.

He softly giggled and waved, whispering "hello" as he shot you a knowing look.

They made a small interaction with eachother, doing silly faces back and forth until the younger child got tired and crawled over to his mothers lap once more. To say it wasnt cute was a lie.

Maybe he would be okay, perhaps you were overthinking it all

He would be excited, right?

You weakly smiled and took a sip of water, stomach churning.

Taehyung lifted the arm-rest so he could move closer, his arm pulling you to him as he kissed your head- you were trapped.

"Want some mint gum?" he whispered, reaching into his little bag

"no im okay"

"princess it might help the nausea?"

you sighed and leaned away, "im fine just stop"

he frowned and looked back at the small tv in front of him, his own mind stressing over if he did or said something wrong to you. Youve been super moody towards him since the trip and it was a tad bit concerning.

You felt awful, but you were overstimulated with so much shit that you couldnt put on a lovey dovey act right now.

Taehyung put his headphones on and unwrapped the piece of gum, placing it into his own mouth as his head rested against the seat, defeated.

this is wrong

this is so fucking wrong, and you know it. He has been there for you time and time again, and you just push him away when you know he would be more than accepting of the situation that very much involves the two of you.

Rip the fucking bandaid off.

Later that night, you two finally arrived home to your apartment after getting out of your uber.

"let me take these to the elevator" tae smiled, taking your luggage and throwing it over his shoulder.

"thanks" you whispered, rubbing your eyes in exhaustion.

You leaned against him after pressing the button of your floor and getting your key out.

"sleepy?" he mumbled

"yeah..."

the doors open and both of you walk down the hall, passing doors of other apartments.

It was peaceful, being home.

You had fun with your mother and spending your birthday at your childhood home, but nothing will beat the comfort of this apartment.

You watched the back of taehyungs head as he walked in front of you, holding two suitcases while making sure his fish baby was okay as well, it was adorable.

Your eyes were fixated on him as you approached the end of the hall

You placed the key into the door and practically watched him drop everything to the floor, (besides the tiny fish tank)

"we can unpack tomorrow right?" he sighed, tiredly

you nod and begin to walk into your bedroom, where taehyung follows.

after getting comfy and clean, the two of you settled into bed in the dark room.

Taehyungs arm draped over your waist, keeping your back flush against his chest.

You sighed, closing your eyes as peacefully as you could as his lips found their way to your shoulder and neck

"tae-"

"i missed you" he whispered, a hint of humor in his voice

your eyes stayed glued to the wall

"dont get me wrong, I love your mom, but she is the number one cock blocker-"

"im tired and want to sleep." you speak, voice stern now.

he pulled away as if you burned him, "...sorry" his head fell against the pillow as he rolled to lay on his back.

It was quiet for a moment, "did i do something wrong?" he whispered

you took a second to reply, "what?"

"this entire week, things have been....weird....with us. Did i upset you, princess?"

Taehyungs voice was low and shaky, as if he was afraid of breaking you. Sure, the week was bad in the aspects of Kaito and his bullshit, but there was no reason to take it out on taehyung.

"are you saying this because I dont want to have sex right now?" you sat up, looking at him with disgust.

He quickly threw his hands up in defense, "baby- no!! Thats not it at all, its nothing to do with anything like that"

You audibly sighed, running your hands over you face as you listened to him speak

He continued, "you just seem....off...and i want to make sure that you are ok"

to make sure....that you are ok.

The man who has little to worry about in this life, and situation wants everything to be okay.

You threw the covers off your body, rising to your feet as you walked towards the bathroom, suddenly it was too much again.

Too much to juggle, too much for one single woman to deal with at once, it wasnt fucking fair that you were here right now.

You blamed yourself because you both were careless, and now you blame yourself because you have authority, and responsibility for this child. Yes- he may want it, but your mind races back to the fact of how he struggles to even look after himself. He might get overwhelmed and give up, your life may fall apart, and hes rambling about YOU being OKAY?

"where are you going?" he got up quickly, following after you

You pivoted on your heel, blocking him from entering the bathroom with you, "i just want to be alone right now taehyung, Please"

He scoffed, "you cant act like this, get me all worried, then run away and hide, thats not fair!"

Your eyes widened, "not fair? why is how I act not fair to you? why do you assume every action, every emotion, every breath is about YOU??"

He stood back a little, not prepared for how you suddenly turned from cold shoulder to just plain angry.

"y-you have no idea!" you gripped your hair as you got a glance of yourself in the mirror, and as quick as it was, tears began to form at the lining of your eyes.

"idea of what, y/n? you are scaring me" taehyung whispered, unsure if he should attempt to comfort you.

You took a few breathes and rubbed your arms to self soothe yourself, "Its late....im tired....youre tired, lets just sleep please"

"sleep? after this?"

you nod, silently shutting the door to the bathroom as he stood in front of it. "you are gonna sleep in the fucking bathroom?"

"who cares if I do?"

He sighed, looking down. He wanted to help and was only met with a door slamming to the face, and you ignoring his pleas to help you with whatever this was.

He tried once more, hand jiggling the door handle, "baby...baby please....."

You sat on the other side, your back pressed against the door and your knees to your chest as tears fell freely now. You felt like an awful person- perhaps you were one.

He whispers, voice cracking, "whats going on? why wont you....why cant I help?"

You wiped your eyes, looking down at your hands as taehyung spoke behind the door. "please just go...."

"no...im not going to leave you when you are in an emotional state like this"

"please." you try once more

"y/n, im not joking around anymore, open the fucking door."

Your heart raced at his sudden fed up tone, you knew he wasnt going to let this rest tonight.

"y/n....open the door"

the two rooms were filled with silent breathing, it felt like forever before you suddenly stood up as he listened to your shuffling.

You blew your nose and looked at yourself in the mirror again, a mess. an absolute mess, how could one fuck up this badly?

suddenly...this is beyond you, especially in this moment.

Its not just your life anymore, and you are being selfish a bit. He has a right to know, its not just a you problem. You sigh, eyes on the mirror. all you could see was someone whos had maybe one of the biggest downfalls of the century....but you also saw a girl who was vulnerable, and wanted to try.

Your hand shakes as it moved to unlock and open the door, you met taehyung who stood there with fear in his eyes, obviously more than just concerned over the bizarre behavior.

"taehyung." you whispered so quietly, that if any other noise was occurring in the house, he wouldnt have heard you.

He stuck his eyes onto yours, not leaving for a second.

"i-im.." you choked, trying to compose yourself.

"youre what, princess?" he whispered, using your same soft and comforting tone

shaking your head, you let out a soft sob, feeling embarrassed but knowing there was no other way around the situation anymore, and the longer you dragged this out, the worse things crumbled

you said it in one, big, relieving exhale. it felt wrong to say aloud, but your chest was no longer tight, breathing was slightly easier.

"i'm pregnant."

Taehyung's air left his lungs, his face contorted into different expressions, mouth moving to form words yet nothing was coming out.

You couldnt look at him anymore, eyes darting to your feet.

"i-im sorry...fuck" you walked past him, moving into the living room as he stayed where he was.

You stood in the center of the room, shocked at what you had just done on some random night, the clock read 2:28am. You wanted something special, and instead you dumped it on him as if you were telling him what you were making for dinner.

he looked around, the words you just said suddenly hitting him, suddenly becoming real.

"youre what?" he whispered to himself, heart beginning to race as he turned around quickly and chased after you.

you had moved to sit near the window, looking at the city in the dark room. His soft footsteps could be heard over your quiet cries.

"dont hate me" you cried, "please dont hate me" you wiped your eyes, unable to turn around to face him. "I already hate myself, I know this isnt what we had planned but god...taehyung," you turned your head softly, eyes blood-shot, "please dont go" you whispered.

He stood behind you, hands clammy.

You tried your best not to have a full blown meltdown, you were already tired enough.

He slowly sank to his knees, a softer expression overtaking his previous one.

"i-if you w-want me to abort it, I dont think I can" you sobbed, "i know school isnt even done yet, we are so young and everyone will hate me, im so sorry taeh-"

He inturrupted you quickly, wrapping you into his arms tightly, tears of his own falling. "no, no no,.." he tucked your face into his neck, softly swaying. "no...no no"

You only cried harder, your hands clutching his shirt with a plea to not leave.

"I-" he sighed, taking a few breathes, "I could never leave you" his hands tightened, "you mean so fucking much to me, and you think I would ever leave, or ask you to abort the baby? something we made, together?"

His eyes were shut, voice trembling with fears of his own, however most of all he was relieved you finally told him.

"i love you so much, god y/n, I love you so much" he rocked a little, hand brushing up and down your back. "you thought I would hate you? baby, no....God no"

"I was so scared" you whisper, unable to pull away

"it's going to be okay, i promise, I know its not the ideal situation, but im not going anywhere, im here for you, okay?"

You sniff, his thumb caressing your cheek softly

"we are going to be good parents, a good supportive family, i'll never leave you"

his hand gently moves down to your stomach, holding the non noticeable baby. suddenly everything made sense.

"we got this, right? we...we can handle anything, because we are a team, and I love you"

"i love you too" you sniff, head pounding.

His eyes scanned yours, "keeping it, is what you want right?"

You nod

"then thats what we will do, and guess what? everything will be fine" he smiled so softly and lovingly, your heart felt constricted. "it'll be difficult, but we are here, together."

"together" your voice is tired and scratchy, a part of you feeling weightless as the fact he now knows sinks in. Its no longer a built up secret you have to hide, he knows.

"and...maybe being parents will be fun?" he giggles quietly, "we can do trips with them, nothing has to change, y/n."

You sigh softly, looking at him, "a lot is going to change, and you need to prepare yourself for that, its not like having a pet, its a real baby with real needs that depends on us for survival..." you look at your clasped hands, "its serious shit"

He nods, frowning a bit

"and I need to start getting a job that pays more than what Ms.Choi is giving me....this is gonna be expensive, I dont know what we are gonna do" your hand covered your face as your breathing picked up again, taehyung watching.

"we will work it out, is what we will do" he spoke softly, he gently removed your hands from your face. "have you seen some of the people who have kids and make it out alive? I think you and I will be just fine...." he speaks "and plus....I think our parents would be more than happy to not only hear about this, but help out too"

You sighed, "fuck I forgot we need to tell our families, Taehyung thats gonna be so embarrassing! my mom-"

"probably already suspected we were closer than 'friends', and how is that embarrassing? our parents have been trying to push us together for quite some time"

"because I dont talk about this shit with people, even my mom, and it makes me .....uhg"

He giggles softly, "shh...its okay, im sure she knows you arent 19 anymore, we are adults"

adults. yeah.

His hands gently held your sides, "my beautiful girl....how long have you known?"

You pushed the hair out of your face, "since Wednesday, I took a test on my birthday"

Taehyung frowned, "and youve been dealing with this alone since then?"

You nod, "remember when I said I needed to get tampons? yeah...I bought a test instead" you slightly smile.

He nodded "hm..im sorry you had to deal with that, Your behavior is forgiven"

"oh about that...im sorry for being a bitch to you, you were just trying to help."

He sighs softly, "y/n, you dont need to apologize, I was just worried about you....im sure within the next 9 months we will deal with a lot of scary emotions, so I better suck it up"

You smile, "i'll try to be good"

"you already are" he kissed the top of your head, helping you both stand to your feet. He looked at your stomach, a smile in knowing what was in there. "baby" he gestured, "thats ours"

You nod, hands resting on his shoulders,

"we will be fine?"

"we will be more than fine...we will be great"

-

The next morning, you had decided on taking a day off to just live in bed.

This was your last day before you returned to classes for the last bit of the semester, so you wanted to take it easy as possible before facing the crazy drama to come.

You laid under the covers, sipping the water taehyung had given you as he placed the duffle suit case onto the end of the bed, taking out the clothes and folding them, putting them into your closet.

"so have you thought about calling your doctor?" he spoke up, watching you eat the breakfast he made you.

You sat up a bit, "yeah, im gonna call her today possibly, ill make an appointment for this weekend."

He smiles shyly, "can I come?"

You couldnt help but giggle, "you are the father, so yes obviously you can"

"well I didnt know what your boundaries are here..."

You tilt your head, "what do you mean?"

"well like.." he folded one of your dresses, "we havent established our "relationship" if you will, and so I wasnt sure what the boundaries were for me-"

You smile, "I mean....taehyung...we are having a child together, I dont think we have to worry about formalities anymore, right?"

He smiles, shrugging as he hung up more of your clothes, something you insisted on doing yourself but the overprotective taehyung was already sprung into action, forcing you to do absolutely nothing.

"well when you say it like that It sounds funny" he giggled

"hmm then do as you want" you mumbled as he climbed onto the bed, sitting next to you and holding your hand. He cleared his throat before speaking "y/n...would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend, officially?"

"that is so middle school" you snort

"yes or no"

"wow, an offer that includes strings attached, thats new"

"hey you were the one who suggested friends with benefits"

"and now we are sitting here pregnant"

Taehyung giggled, "yes or no!!!"

"hmm.....yeah I guess"

you laughed as he flung onto you, kissing all over your face and holding you close, his long legs knocking off some of the laundry piles he made.

"there goes the clothes" you frown

"aish I'll fold them again, dont worry angel" he sat up and stood after giving you a long kiss on the lips, making you blush.

You want to call yourself silly for worrying so much, the taehyung standing in front of you is incomparable to the one you imagined he would be after telling him, you are relieved but know a lot more is still to come.

You knew taehyung loved you, and wanted to care for you as much as possible, but God, little did you know to what extent.

"taehyung I can walk to class myself, Walking is good for me"

You looked back at your boyfriend as he watched you exit the car while dropping you off at class the next day.

"just be careful, ok? and dont let anyone try anything with you" his eyes scanned the students roaming the campus. "call me if they do, yeah?"

You smile, nodding, "sure....okay, I love you"

"I love you too, ill pick you up at 3 ok?"

You nod softly, waving him off as you begin to walk to class.

You were sweaty with anxiety, eyes forced down to the ground you walked on to avoid any weird glares thrown your way.

This whole Kaito and Annie situation was, and should be, the least of your worries right now- all you wanted to do was finish the semester and be done for a little while, enjoying your pregnancy the best you can with Taehyung at home..

You walked into your theatre class, you were met with Chae, who you havent spoken to in months.

"y/n...where have you been?" she raised a brow, looking up from her phone.

"um, vacation"

"oh" she lowers her gaze on you, you suddenly feel angry that she even feels like its ok to communicate with you right now after taking Kaitos side.

"hows taehyung?" she continues as you take a seat

"im here for class, and class only, dont start anything with me" you spoke without even looking in her direction.

"I just think its funny that you flea right when everything is going on" she shrugged

"I went to go see my mom, not that its any of your buisness"

"listen, kaito isnt a great person and all but he is my friend, and you cheated on him with taehyung after blowing him off"

You scoffed, "oh like how he almost blew my face off? with his fist?"

She sighed, "and poor annie too....she liked taehyung and you just-"

You stopped her from finishing, "listen, chae, You dont know anything and If i were you i would worry a little less on my life and more on yours, everyone knows you failed your final exam because you cant keep your head out of other peoples asses for 3 fucking seconds" you bit and immediately stood, walking out before class even started.

maybe your english class will go better than this one.

-

Later that night, you sat in bed, head full of worry of what the next 2 weeks would bring at school.

in total, 5 kids had came up to you asking if the "rumors were true!"

you wish you had the willpower to punch their stupid fucking faces, but you needed your degree.

You decided against telling taehyung, which, yes, has proved to not be a good thing to do but you didnt want him to worry anymore about you. You are 23, a big girl who can handle childish college drama. they just need to get over it, and hopefully after they see that you dont care, they will move on with their lives.

"hey im back" taehyung walked into your room, a bag of snacks from the small store down the street, you were craving chips and he wasted no time going to grab them for you.

"are these good?" he held up the snacks, making your stomach growl,

"mm yes, thank you baby" he came over and gave you them, kissing you on the forehead. "what else did you get?" you smiled, looking at the semi-full grocery bag in his hand.

He turned shy, a small innocent smile on his face, "oh um.." he reached into the bag and pulled out a small teddy bear that had the initial of K on it, it was utterly adorable. he giggled softly, "I saw it there and thought it would be cute for the uh, baby" he spoke quietly.

"taehyung" you pouted, holding the bear, "im gonna cry this is such a soft thing for you to do" you giggled and looked at him, "they will love it honey"

"you think?" he smiled

"yes of course" you cupped his face, your heart filled with so much love for this boy, "come here" you whispered, arms reaching over his shoulders as he gently laid against you.

"youre so fucking cute...I love you" you whispered, hand running in his hair

"I love you too" he hummed, eyes closing against your chest.

You looked at the bear again, brining it closer to you. "K for kim"

"yess" he giggled softly

You kissed his head gently and held him tight, "thank you...for being here."

"I wouldnt miss out on this for anything, y/n."

You tried your best to not tear up at his soft words

"can I?" he gestured to your stomach

you nod, curious to what he wants to do

He carefully rolls up your tank top and kisses your stomach, whispering something

"Hi baby, its tae- er, its your daddy" he giggled, looking up at you as you watched happily

"I know from your perspective, things seem crazy but I promise mommy and I are gonna make you the happiest baby ever, we love you so much" he smiled, kissing your stomach once more as you felt tears fall. “We won’t let anything happen to you”

You brushed his hair back as he looked up, eyes meeting yours. “Honey why are you crying?”

“Because” stupid hormones.

He smiled and crawled up, kissing you gently before you brought him down to lay on you again.

“It’s silly…I was so fucking scared to tell you this, so afraid I’d be alone, or that shit would fall apart….but strangely now I feel like for the first time in forever, things are going ok”

He smiles as well, “I feel the same way, im genuinely happy”

“Me too…maybe this was meant to happen, hm?”

“The universe planted a baby into our laps and suddenly we are cured of any issue”

You laughed, “well, not quite, but in most aspects I feel happier than I did before, im glad we are doing this together”

“I am too, it’s gonna be so fun going to all the appointments and then finding out the gender, oh and getting to decorate the nursery”

You rubbed his back, feeling content in his words. “I was thinking about when we tell your family and mine, they are gonna be like oh my god when we tell them we are dating, then boom, pregnancy!”

He looked up, watching you as you spoke.

“Aren’t your parents gonna be angry we did things in the wrong order? Baby before marriage? What if I get disowned” you teased

“Listen, we both know my parents words aren’t anything to take seriously, they are all bark and no bite…im not gonna let them or anyone else do or say anything to hurt you”

“I just want us to be happy”

“And we will be, in our own little bubble” his hand gently rubbed your stomach “are you nervous? About motherhood?”

“More than anything taehyung”

“I’ll be here to help you, ok? You are such a sweet and loving person, you’ll have no issue being a mom and doing it flawlessly at that”

“It’s not just my skill I’m worried about, it’s just….it’s silly but I’m scared about my body changing. I struggle with these things and I know weight gain is healthy in pregnancy but…”

“Baby I refuse to hear you talk badly about your figure…look at you, so fucking sexy and you don’t even have to try. I don’t care what weight you are, or how you look now vs in 9 months, I love you for you and nothing will change that”

You frowned as he kissed all over your face “I love you too…”

“Eat your snacks baby, then let’s get some sleep yeah?”

“Yes…” you opened up the chip bag as taehyung got into his night clothes.

“Oh I scheduled the appointment today” you spoke up, biting into a wafer.

“Yeah? How was it?”

“Well I was a little timid about telling her but she was very happy to know and said she will take me in on Saturday morning for an ultrasound”

Taehyung jumped back into bed, “ah! This is so exciting baby”

“Mm” you giggle, giving him a chip.

“Do we find out the gender?”

You found his words adorable “no sweet boy, that’s not for a bit, but we get to hear the heartbeat and take home sonograms”

“Ohh, yay!” He smiled, cuddling back into you, arm resting over your abdomen protectively.

“Did you feed fishy?” You gesture to the small tank next to the bed. Taehyung shot up “shit…I will now, sorry little guy” he frowned.

“Hope you don’t forget to feed our human baby”

“No promises” he teased, sprinkling some food pellets into the water for the small yellow fish.

You waited for him to return next to you as he settled under the covers. “Comfy baby?” He whispered, shutting the lamp off.

“Mm” you cuddled into him once more as he rubbed your back.

“I love you”

“I love you more my angel, goodnight”

Taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee @bokieya

[o-xurxur-o-sosoj]

I recently experienced the most intense somatic + mental shift Ive had in years.

Coincidentally I am now no longer going to be present at family functions where my younger sister-(not)-in-law is going to be, because I would catch some assault charges. :V

Shifts for me, especially when I was a preteen first awakening to them, were very intense and often triggered by people violating my boundaries or purposefully upsetting me. One time, when I was like 13, I remember being smacked really hard in the back during a play fight, blacking out in rage/pain, and coming back to, only to find i had done something to that friend who hit me and made her cry. She caught my teeth *hard* another time when she participated in holding me down and shoving grass up my nose.

And I got in-school suspension for biting a kid i knew so hard that he bruised multiple colors for a week or two -- he took something from a friend, held it up to taunt me, triggered my chase instinct, and then made me get creative to make him drop it- which always ends in teeth.

Therianthropy has always been a thing that I've had to mask and control in order to not get in trouble with humans around me. I have to hide it actively, not passively. And now I cant see my evil monster of a SIL because if I hear her talk about administering ABA "therapy" or being racist or sexist or ableist or whatever the fuck, I WILL attack her. This is like, advanced levels of bullshit she puts out, and Im no longer allowes to see her.

Because the last time I heard about her bullshit, I shifted, and my gaze changed, and my pupils actually narrowed to an absolute pinprick as I felt my vision tunnel and focus on my QPP telling me about his sister. He said I looked like an animal about to attack, and he felt afraid and not sure what to do. I *felt* like an animal about to attack. My body knew what to do when I heard something that made me feel like attacking someone, and narrowed my pupils to focus on my prey. It was kind of wild.

But uh. Yeah this is a thing, in case anyone else out there is struggling to feel seen in having similar shifts to mine. Ones that are about the hunt, the predatory drive, self defense, but all end in teeth and claws and sometimes severe consequences. Im not gonna glorify attacking people, but I will be frank about how often I have bitten people in response to being fucked with, or blacked out and hurt people bc they hurt me so bad the pain made me go berserk.

Shifts for me are often triggered by anger and self defense, come out in the form of me looking like an actual aggro'd predator animal, and are something I had to learn to control. Thats just how it is for some of us. This is why we need acceptance and support now, because animalfolk like us are gonna be the first on the chopping block, and are even stigmatized within our own communities. We're the ones who need the "coping with and control of therianthropy" resources the most, and those just dont seem to exist anymore? :(

[lunart-06]

I just imagine hinaegi spending christmas together and how they would take turns on who to spend it with. The first year they decide to spend it with makoto's family (the thh kids, komaru and maybe some friends makoto made on the future foundation), Hajime is nervous out of his mind, he spent weeks in advance searching for the best gifts for everyone, specially togami (even tho makoto assured him everything would be okay.) he enters the room fucking sweating, but everything turns out to be amazing!!! The vibes are just so cozy, and even with the initial nervousness, Hajime feels like he's home in a few hours, he gets to hear a bunch of stories of makoto from the others, be it the stories from his childhood that komaru tells everyone while makoto hides his face in embarrasment, or be it the little facts about the killing game that the friends accidentally slip up, Hajime instantly feels guilty, but makoto quickly pats his cheeks and moves his attention elsewhere, overall, amazing! good food, christmas songs, cozy vibes, an amazing christmas.

so, next year they decide to spend it with the jabberwock kids, and makoto is super excited, he goes out with a big list of gifts to buy for every single one of them, and well.. hajime is also super excited! but at the same time, he wonders how it will go, dont get me wrong!! he loves all his friends with his entire heart, but they are a bit intense, so he will calmly tell everyone to act AS GOOD AS THEY CAN, and when the christmas party starts, everything seems to be going well, they are all at a table and stuff, until an hour passes and hajime CANNOT find makoto anymore, hes being passed back and forth to every single one of them, Hajime wants to spend some time with makoto only to find out Ibuki took him away and is trying to make him play the guitar, he grabs makoto and takes him away, only to look around the next second and find Hiyoko trying to paint his nails while she taunts him on how he would look much prettier if he cut that ahoge off, hajime tries again, but he gives up after a while of competing for his boyfriend with his friends, its hard, and with nagito tho.. he wouldnt leave makoto alone the WHOLE night, hajime is absolutely ehxausted the other day, while makoto loved it! well, they'll never have a boring christmas.

OH OH I LIKE THIS!!!! VERY MUCH!! I JUST WOKE UP AND THIS ALREADY MADE MY MORNING!!!

I want them to have a christmas together, just the two of them, after the second day. But sadly Makoto was still duty bound as the new headmaster and Hajime still needs to check on and handling his classmates and the island. So they just spend the 3rd night via video call, talking about their own days wether it be something mundane, embarrassing, or very privately embarrassing to the point one has to ask himself why did he even have to tell that one while the other just laugh on their seat.

Or just reminicing the days, doing some small vents and just be openly deep and vulnerable with one another knowing the other would never judge them for it, afterall, they're on the same boat in the burdens of the world and reliability.

[joelmiller321]

the abandonment|| Joel miller 📚😫🥵

in which you see joel abandoning Natalina in their relationship

part 1

natalina's pov

i wake alone naked and sigh. he's gone...again. i get in the shower and wonder how i got here. how we got here. joel and i. we got together. we were happy. everything was fine. ellie's become like my own. joel's opened up about his traumas and i did the same. we made a family. me, him, ellie. now somehow...for some reason...we only have sex. it's the only time i genuinely get to have him and feel close again. but he's gone in the morning. avoiding. he spends all day with Gina. a pretty blonde woman, out on patrols, walking around jackson. smiling, laughing. comfortable. he doesn't even try anymore.

i love him. and it's why i stay. it's why i let him touch me even though im crying on the inside. he's losing me and doesn't even seem to notice. or care. ellie's even noticed the distance. i lie to her and tell her im fine. that we both are. she's a kid. she shouldn't have to worry about our relationship or the lack of one we have now. i'm holding onto this. us. joel and i for dear life and he doesn't even seem to care. but how many cold dinners after waiting for him to come home after he's agreed to it am i supposed to take?

how long am i supposed to lay there and clutch onto him, taking his cock because it's the only piece of him he'll let me have? how long am i supposed to swallow pain seeing how much happier she makes him? how miserable i make him? but i do it and i don't know if i have much of it left in me. i really dont. i finish in the shower and dress in

i step downstairs and see ellie came in from her shed out back. she smiles and says "morning ma" i smile "morning ellie want food?" she shakes her head "already went and got some. Joel here?" i sigh "is he ever?" looking and seeing another left over dinner from last night that joel did not show up for. but he did come in late and we had sex. it's the only thing he wants me for. my heart won't let go of him even if i know i should. at this point im just his live in whore.

she sighs "i thought he was staying in today, with us?" another broken promise and now it's including ellie. i shrug "think he got busy kid." "well what did he say?" she asks. i sigh and admit "nothing. he doesn't talk to me much anymore ellie. he was gone when i woke up" she says "but you two are in love. disgustingly so. i don't know what's going on with him. but it will pass. he'll come around just wait" hope in her voice. confusion. pain in her eyes and pity with the way she's looking at me. i sigh "i don't think i have it in me to wait any longer kid" grabbing a apple to settle on.

she asks "have you told him you're..." pregnant. i'm only 4 weeks. i shake my head "ma you have to tell him. he deserves to know" why? so he can just abandon this child? i'm not even sure if i even want to keep it at this point. i don't think i should. not with the way our relationship is. not with how he's making me feel. i tell her "im not even sure i want to keep it ellie. i'm really not" i don't want to be a single mother. i've seen how it went with my mother. an abusive father in and out of our lives. her equally shitty boyfriends. i can't do it. i won't. and joel knows. i also know joel's trauma, how he lost sarah. how will he even react to this?

he's never mentioned wanting another kid. hell him coming around to ellie was like pulling teeth. "he deserves to know either way" she tells me and i sigh "i know. i gotta go."

she takes my hand "it's not safe for you to work with the horses now ma. they could hurt you" she's the only one here who would care about such a thing. i sigh "joel's not here and he's not going to be. i need to get out of this house" she nods "then i'm coming with you." i nod and we head out and walk toward the barns me eating an apple. i pause seeing him. joel. with her. smiling. "ma cmon." she calls. i see how she's touching him. smiling gripping onto his arms. leeching onto him. and he doesn't stop her. "ma don't look at that cmon" and his eyes meet mine. those eyes i fell in love with. but the man who owns them is not one i recognize anymore.

he steps forward his eyes on me still but she grabs his hand seeing me. he stops and turns to her and she says something that makes her nod and i leave before he can turn to see me if he even does.

joel's pov

i turn back to see my little family but they're gone. i sigh making a note in my head to make me being busy up to them. there's been a lot going on. more raiders. more construction for this place. more. more. more. Gina has been assigned as my partner in it all. having skill in it. she's kind. funny, and makes the day go by easier. that's it. i missed another dinner with Lina. i bet she's pissed with me. seems to be a common occurrence these days. i love her.

Natalina is the best thing to have ever happened to me. truly. she makes me want to be a better man. ellie and i met her on the road to the fireflies. ellie begged me to let her stay. she did get hurt saving my life. listening to ellie is the best decision i've ever made. and slowly...i fell in love with lina. ellie and lina healed me. in a way i never thought i deserve or was possible after losing sarah.

but now...it's like they're...slipping. and i don't know how to stop it. i truly am always working. there's always something that needs fixing. always someone who needs extra hands on a patrol. i want and need this place to be the safest place for them. it's why i work so hard. why i do so much. that and maria still keeps her eye on me believing that im still that guy that did horrible shit with tommy.

i don't and catch a glimpse of her all day. i even went to the stables and Randy said she took ellie out with shimmer and her horse Leroy. damn. Gina stays at my side and talks about i don't even know what anymore. i break out of my thoughts hearing "how's Natalina" she's never brought her up before. i have. in passing. i say "she's fine why?" she shrugs "don't see you two together much anymore is all." yeah i've been busy with everyone else's wants and needs. the only time i get peace is at night and i have the time i do with her. then i wake and do it all over again when all i want to do is stay with her.

later

i sigh walking in the door and kick my shoes off "joel?" it's ellie. she's usually back to her shed by now. i smile "hey kiddo" she asks "what are you doing?" arms crossed. i say "taking off my jacket?" doing just that and hanging it up. she replies "with ma" i reply "i'm going to bed with her?" she huffs "you promised us it'd just be us today joel" i sigh "i know. im sorry. but they were a person short on patrols and i had repairs to do over at the canteen area" she asks "when was the last time you two did something? that wasn't you coming home late after breaking your word to her again and going upstairs" a while, regrettably it's been a while. but now these people are starting to actually need me. and the raiders are getting worse and worse and i just want to protect this place. which in turn protects them. she continues "you're losing her joel. i can see it in the way she's not surprised by your absence and is defeated and tired. you're losing her" what? i can't be. if she felt that way she'd tell me. she wouldn't let me have sex with her i bet too. i say "we're fine kid don't worry about it" "you two are not fine joel. she's to herself. more than ever. she needs you to be here joel" she tells me and i nod and say "get some rest kiddo" heading upstairs. i shower the grime of today off of me and head out getting dressed. she's awake. reading. i get into my side of the bed and say "how was your day?" she looks at me oddly "it was okay"

natalina's pov

it's been...i don't know how long since he's even asked that question. or even talked for that matter. he tells me "sorry about not being here today. i'll make it up to you" no he won't. he never does. he's going to be gone again when i wake up and be gone all day. i say "mm" he grabs the book closing it. he says "i will" i nod though i don't believe it "yeah" "im gonna make up for this and all those dinners you worked hard on" he tells me. stroking my cheek. this is the most we've talked. he kisses me. and i let him. he moves on top of me and i let him. he strips us both and then slides into me and i moan and let him. it's all he wants you know. gina knows him better at this point. he's only using you until they take that step. and they will. look at them together.

he grunts "fuck" his face in my neck as his hips snap to mine. my pain blocks out my pleasure in the act. i hold him to me my fingers in his longer hair as i stare at the ceiling. my body pleasured but my mind in agony. i just lay and take it as he takes what he needs from me. it's the only way i can feel close to him. he's going to leave again. and ignore you. brush you off like last week. and go to her

"i love you darlin" he grunts as a tear falls from my eye. i wipe it before he can notice. i kiss him and give a few moans so he doesn't notice something's off. realizing i've been silent for a bit. he returns to my neck kissing it and i hold him like i won't ever again. because he's going to be gone when i wake up. he's going to be with her. all day into the night doing i don't even know what. he doesn't talk. i've tried. he just doesn't. one day maybe soon he'll speak. and it'll break us. and i'll move out with a even worse broken everything and i'll be left with nothing and she'll have my everything. he grunts "cum darlin" i can't with all these feelings on my mind and in my chest. he rubs my clit and i fake it. how can i raise a baby in this? like this? if it's a girl id want her to not accept shit like this. i wish i wouldn't. joel's the first man i've trusted with me. my body. my heart. all of it. it's been just stolen and taken when i ran into bad groups and had to claw my way out but joel's my first. he showed me what love is. he grunts and finishes. he pulls out of me and kisses me "love you" but it doesn't feel like it. he doesn't act like it.

part 2

[childhoodtv-kalimthefairy]

RidoAce week Day 1

Day 1: Childhood/Family

Yes I have a fic accompanying this drawing that took 3 hours and somehow ended up shitty. Also yes I’ll be doing both for each day, I am dedicated to this. I blame @writesology for getting me hooked on this ship. Anyways, Enjoy :)

When Riddle thinks about his childhood, he wouldn’t say it was a particularly exciting one. Really, it was more like a routine, he never had time to play with other kids because he was either studying or practicing magic. He remembered how he’d look outside his window, seeing kids playing and think to himself “Why would they waste there time? They don’t have a lot of time in life, why not dedicate it to preparing for a good future?”

Thinking back on it, he realized how idiotic it was. He didn’t know that though, at least until he met Trey and Chenya that fateful day. He remembered how they urged him to come outside to play with them, how that turned out to be one of the best decisions he has ever made. That day, for the first time, Riddle felt like a kid, a type of kid he read in his stories. Of course, everything must come to an end, that for Riddle was when his mother found out and banned him from independent studies. After that, for a few years, he forgot how it was like to be a kid. 

Then he went to Night Raven College, where he reached the rope really quickly. Still, he wasn’t well liked, his temper and stricklier for the rules wasn’t something people liked. And for a while, he was fine with that.

Until he Overbloted.

In hindsight, he should’ve seen it coming. How all the repressed emotions, over use of his magic, and his general unhappiness made him finally reach his breaking point. Funny enough, the way he broke wasn’t cause of pressure, it was cause a loud-mouth first year decided that he had enough.  

Ace Trappola. At first, he really did think Ace was attractive. Tall, beautiful eyes and seemed charming enough. Of course after eating his tart, Riddle decided he didn’t like him. He was a annoying, loud- mouth bother to him and he couldn’t see why he thought he was pretty.

But…After he overblotted, apologized to everyone and threw an unbirthday party, Ace seemed to warm up to him. Riddle, upon noticing this, found he didn’t mind.

As the months passed by, he found he really couldn’t shake the thought of the first-year out of his mind again. Everything Ace did, he noticed and it drives him crazy how he keeps finding them endearing. He wishes he could just squash those feelings down every time he talks to Ace, or sees him smile, or just being him just made his heart flutter.

He thought at the time that it would’ve been impossible for him to love him. They were so different, not just that but they had such a weird relationship, friends? Maybe? Something else. He wasnt sure at this point…

But then, much to his shock, Ace confessed. 

It was when they were doing homework, Riddle helping him with a particular math question, when Ace told him.

“Dormhead, I really cant keep it to myself anymore, but i like you.”

And after that, it was history. Genuinely, the last 2 years in NRC had been one of the best years of my life, i felt like a kid again. Ace even gave me a promise ring at when I was graduating…

And now, were living together, almost 5 years later with out-

“Dad!”

Riddle looked up from his writing, grinning at the child who stood infront of him. He had Ace’s hair and personality but Riddles eyes, piercing blue. 

“Daddd, come one papa made some pasta for dinner! He made it pink! Pretty pink!” The child whined, tugging on his fathers arm. Riddle grinned at him, “Now that sounds good right now. Will you take me to him, Orion?” Riddle asked, picking him up and kissing his cheeks. Just as he said that, Ace popped his head into the room, a grin on his own face. “Come on you two, dinner is gonna get cold if you dont get out here!”

Riddle and Orion nodded, the child kept chanting “pasta” as they went to dining room. As they sat down at the table, Riddle couldnt help but reminisc a bit. I mean, he was writing a book about his life since all his mothers…unsaviory, practicies came to light. Plus, he wanted to have something to look back on. But he couldnt help but think how ironic this was.

As a child he was told to look forward, follow the rules, marry a woman and to act maturely. But here he was, sitting with his husband and child, chatting happily, not caring for the rules currently.

If he thinks about it, alot of this is thanks to Ace, Trey and the others.

He has alot to be happy about.

If he could go back in time, hed tell his youngerself to love himself a little bit more. Take risks and to not listen to his mother.

But, if he did he would miss all of this, wouldnt he?

[draygon-lord]

Vent post out of tags because I dont wanna mess with tags on this stream of consciousness

I have a lot of confusion and frustration about why tf did that group seemingly immediately assume me going dark on all social media was intentionally malicious towards them. Why tf did they show up to my house when I wasn't there and say AT THE TIME that it was just to deliver the first present they'd ever given me that they'd be too busy to during holiday season, only to TWO WEEKS LATER after I REACHED OUT FIRST when I felt marginally better blow up at me and say it was actually because they were worried and because "I worried them" they didn't want to make any effort to talk to me anymore but I still could make the effort to talk to them, when they've never made an effort to talk to me of their own volition in 5-6 years of friendship and I've been actively asking for years for that not to be the case. Why did they make no effort to contact me before showing up to my house aside from a tiktok for a show I've told her multiple times I've never watched, and in no way communicates worry or interest in how I'm doing. Why did their "worry" mean I am punished and actively ignored by them, and why tf did they assume it was intentionally malicious. Why did NONE of this group ever reach out at any point, and why were they all so ready to just drop me and never try to find out whats going on from me when they had my direct contact info and were just so ready to accept whatever bullshit the two that blew up at me told them?? Like how can you claim to be "good friends" and "found family" if the time i needed that support the most you decided it was intentionally malicious to hurt you. Why did only their feelings matter, and why even after I explained why I went dark did they still treat me like I was being intentionally malicious. Why were all of them just so ready to shit talk me and hate me, what did I do? Should I just have never said how I was feeling and what was hurting me and just quietly kmsed?? Just have been happy that I was allowed to exist nearby when no one ever talked to me of their own volition unless I was entertaining for them??? Should I have just been okay with one of the ones that blew up at me actively ignoring me in group situations and asking everyone else on a call by name how they were doing except me and then hanging up, or when she saw me at work and actively turned and walked away so she didn't have to talk to me??? Like how is any of that acceptable or okay??? What was i supposed to do??

Why did they immediately assume me leaving all their discords and kicking them from mine was to purposefully keep one of the ones who blew up at me from inviting the friends that were there for me to her super bowl party. Did they honestly not think their actions were out of line

Why did they feel so entitled to the friends who were there for me when they've never made an effort to talk to them and even when I was actively trying to get the two groups to connect they actively stonewalled them and only kept to themselves

Why was it that all of their immediate responses to me being extremely depressed "ignore it til it goes away" and what right do they have to be mad that that did nothing. That their "sending good vibes!!" Does fucking nothing.

[laulo821]

to clarify my opinion on "proper" english, idfc how people write in their personal lives/to friends or family/etc, but in professional/published works- or anything that is meant to be understood by a wider audience i think the clarity provided by adhering to certain grammatical rules and structure is veeerrry important eheheh. for the sake of ease of communication!

i try to be pretty careful about my word choice and order allll the time for that reason, even if i drop a lot of proper spelling/capitalization/punctuation for casual dialogue.

nonetheless, i think when people act intentionally obtuse just to shame people for speaking casually/colloquially/with slang/whatever thats stupid and evil etc. hate when people do that. i might not understand a lot of it, but it has the right to exist yk! it is just as worthy of respect ^_^

anyways i think this topic is very interesting as well its something i enjoy talking about :33

once again i dare ask, where does the professional/private begins and stops? thats a big debate we had in termonology class (terminology , the science of terms aka specialised & professional words). some terminologists argue that terms are only employed in the field by top-notch experts to top-notch experts and nothing else qualifies as a term. other terminologists argue that funk that: "spoonful" is a term because it belongs to the professional sector of cooking, disregarding how common/unspecialised it may be (they dont actually disregard it but yknow). also some guy who goes fishing as a hobby every week and starts talking about the components of his rod to his friends: not an expert (meaning doesn't work as a fisherman)! but using specialised words! should they count as terms or common words? should that be considered professional discussion cuz the terms or private discussion cuz he's talking to a friend? anyways it's just to say that the gap between professional and private discussions may not be so clear

on a same note, what is a wider audience? we're on the internet literally everyone could read that post, making it, by its nature, designed for a wide audience. should every tumblr post thus should have proper english? likewise, works that were only notes and scribbles, like Les Pensées by Pascal that were published post-mortem... it was not meant for a wider audience in that state and is not always using proper French. due to this, are thus Les Pensées not a piece of literature anymore? (kinda teasing w this paragraph hehe but you see the issue i'm poking)

like you said the most important task of a language is not to be proper. it is to be spoken but also to be effective. to enable communication. we could also go all in and dare say, funk the rules as long as a message or piece or literature is understandable, it is proper english!! arguably, every broken rule of proper english creates a new variation of english that could be its own proper variation english (like UK english, US english, NZ english, etc, coexist together as proper englishes)

also youre soso true about the shaming stuff. dawg that pisses me OFF. that's why fuck the Académie Française i wish i could dismember that bullshit of an institution. they are the ones "making the rules" of French but NONE OF THOSE FUCKERS ARE LINGUISTS AND ALSO ARE ALL 109 YEARS OLD HOW CAN THEY im cool im cool [insert the hades calming down gif]. anyways. language belongs to the people so whatever they do with it it's fine as long as they have fun and are themselves <3

on a final note i'm heavily arguing against you here but i think you're overall right nonetheless :p rigor may not always be needed in a language but languages need a strong basis and grammatical rules to exist and actually make the communication efficient!! i perfectly see your points and they are very legit